Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My breasts were aching with rage.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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