Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
