There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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