He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize