How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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