3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
