I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Randomize
