You're so nebulous sometimes
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
