So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
