My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
