You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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