I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
