I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
