I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
