You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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