That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
