The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
