I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize