tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
