I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
