i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
