She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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