Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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