True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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