Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.

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(210): View more from Texas

Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"

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(314): View more from Missouri

The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight

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(765): View more from Indiana

I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm

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(618): View more from Illinois

It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night

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(850): View more from Florida

Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...

(914): View more from New York

Who is this......

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now

(862): View more from New Jersey

Awww you know you would like it if I found u

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