please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
