I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
