So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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