He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
