Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
