But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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