At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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