fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize