After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
