Define "chronic" masturbator.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
