I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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