i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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