College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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