Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
