In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
