Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
