Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
