he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
