I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
