i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I wear drunk well.
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