You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
