I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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