she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
two words...techno handjob
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
