Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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