party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
