Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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