The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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