I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
operation have a gay friend backfired
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
