i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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