Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
