Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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